Please accept my apologies, wonder what would have been. Would you’ve been a little angel or an angel of sin? Tom-boy running around, hanging with all the guys Or a little tough boy with beautiful brown eyes.
I payed for the murder before they determined the sex. Choosing our life over your life meant your death. And you never got a chance to even open your eyes, Sometimes I wonder as a fetus if you fought for your life.
Would you have been a little genius in love with math? Would you have played in your school clothes and made me mad? Would you have made me quit smokin’ by finding one of my lighters?
I wonder about your skin tone and shape of your nose? And the way you would have laughed and talked fast or slow? Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen. Loveyou whoever you would’ve been. Happy birthday.
All I thought was a dream, was as real as it seemed, I made a mistake.
I’ve got a million excuses to why you died. And other people got their own reasons for homicide. Who’s to say it would’ve worked and who’s to say it wouldn’t have? I was young and strugglin’ but old enough to be your mom.
The fear of being a mother has never disappeared. Pondering frequently while I’m sippin’ on my beer. My vision of a family was artificial and fake, So when it came time to create I made a mistake.
Now you’ve got a little brother, maybe he’s really you? Maybe you really forgave us knowin’ we was confused? Maybe every time that he smiles it’s you proudly knowin’ that your mother’s doin’ the right thing now?
From the heavens to the womb, to the heavens again. From the endin’ to the endin’, never got to begin. Maybe one day we could meet face to face in a place without time and space.